Will you?

Many nights she wonders,

Of all the people in the world, 

Who would actually miss her when she's gone? 

Like a piece of dust, she wanders,

And then gone.

With the wind.

Loner.

She's always alone. 

She might be surrounded by people everyday, but deep down in her, she knows she's all alone. 

She's been keeping her doors closed from people, she never really trusted friends, she never really trusted people could ever make an effort to like her, she never really trusted herself to blend in like everyone does. 

She's always the odd one out. She's always harsh and people find her extremely difficult to handle. But so what? She never really cared. Unfortunately once in a blue moon she does. And she thought she was cool enough not to give any fucks. 

Sometimes she walks away silently, with the hope of no one noticing and the tiny bit of bitterness of no one noticing. Yes, she's confused like that. 

And now that she's back in her bed, all alone, crying in the sheets with a little comfort from her huge teddy bear. 

She'll be fine. As always.

21.

She's been dreaming a lot lately,

Of all the possibilities she could be,

At such age of incredibility. 

She's been settling down lately,

Despite having wings,

Home is the place she ever wanted to be.

And everything felt so surreal, to be twenty-one. 

Any day can be full of wonders.

It's been 15 days since new year and so many times she wonders where did the time go. 

No "new year new me" bullshits for her coz she can be different any day of the year if she wants to. Why wait for new year? 

2014 had been a great year for her, filled with achievements she hadn't thought she would've achieved. It felt magical and it still does. And 2015 will be an even better one, she tells herself. 

The other half.

Her best friend might not know how glad she is to have her as her best friend. She is. 

Her best friend might not know how proud she was to tell the rest of the world that she's her best friend. She was.

Her best friend might not know she thinks about her as much as she does to him. She does. 

Her best friend might not know she too shed tears once in a blue moon thinking of her sometimes like she did. She did.

She would give up anything, for her. And she will. 

Almost there.

Lying on the couch, staring at the television, not knowing what she's watching, but she doesn't really care. 

Her thoughts spiral in her head like a wild hurricane, so many times she's almost driven into it yet she manages to hold herself back. Safe and steady. 

What a night. What a kind of night to sink herself into a good book and a big cup of coffee. 

It's okay, just one last more to go.

Just keep moving.

The first two subjects of this first mock did not seem to go very well. 

She's gotten so mentally exhausted that she's sunk into her bed and all she wanted was to sleep the days away, and nothing else really much mattered.

'It's just a bad day, not a bad life.'

And now she has faith, that she'll be all geared up, after a good rest.